Since his inauguration, Donald Trump has made headlines almost daily for his sweeping declarations, “concepts of plans” and new policies. While these topics make for informative and sometimes controversial content, these articles never ask the really important questions. Questions like what color underwear Trump wears (probably red) or who his favorite child is. While the answers to these questions may be obscure (it is definitely red), we believe we have answered them.
5. ERIC
We are not entirely sure if Donald knows about Eric. Eric has frequently made public appearances in favor of his father, but his love has rarely been reciprocated.
4. TIFFANY
Tiffany is the only child born through Trump’s marriage with Marla Maples. From a young age, she has been distanced from the circus also known as the Trump family. In recent years, she has taken a more prominent role in her father’s election campaigns, but still has never really managed to secure a position in the “ring-master’s act.” While Trump has never really criticized her, he also does not speak very highly of her. She seems to have inherited dear old Donald’s questionable makeup skills, but unfortunately, she did not inherit a spot at the top of his favorites list. 3. DON JR.
Donald Trump Jr. (aka Don Jr.) is the oldest of the many offspring Donald Trump has propagated. He has spent his entire life fighting to be his right-hand man, and for a while did appear to be Trump’s heir. As of late, his father’s affections appear to have waned. His intellect in particular is a point of contention for Trump, who has publicly mocked his eldest. “He’s not the sharpest knife in the drawer,” Trump has claimed. Unfortunately for Don Jr., the SiriusXM interview where he said he supported gay marriage since it meant “more women for me” does nothelp his case. While he might still be trying his hardest to become the favorite, his time has come and gone. He may be a loyal soldier in Trump’s political clashes, but a pawn is all he is meant to be.
2. BARRON
Barron Trump is Trump’s most recent spawn. He is currently a student at NYU and particularly popular with the ladies. Despite not being a part of either one of his father’s presidential campaigns, he spent a large part of his childhood at the White House, allowing him to spend more time with his father than many of the other offspring. He has been seen accompanying his father to several events, and while he has lived a mysteriously sheltered life, he has earned his orange father’s attention and love. “He’s a little on the tall side. I will tell you, he’s a tall one,” Trump has said, “but he is a good-looking guy.” In stark contrast to his sentiments on Don Jr., his intellect also seems to be a source of pride: “He’s a super bright kid,” Trump gushed. We think that he is liked more than Don Jr. because he is considered smart, and more than Tiffany because he is male. Barron Trump is also a fan favorite and has been hailed by MAGA fanatics as the crown prince of his father’s empire. We imagine that Trump’s notion of a tall, sexy successor excites him greatly, leading Barron to be his second favorite.
1. IVANKA
Ivanka Trump is Donald’s second oldest child and oldest daughter. She has been involved heavily in all three of her father’s runs for office and has stood by his side over the years. Ivanka served as a senior advisor during Trump’s first term, alongside her husband Jared Kushner (whom Trump also probably likes more than Eric). While both Ivanka and Don Jr. have contributed significantly to Trump’s runs for office and his time in the White House, there was little question who the favorite child was. In the words of the man himself, “If Ivanka weren’t my daughter, perhaps I’d be dating her.” Ultimately, Trump’s favoritism has prevailed despite all accusations of sexism.
