Picture two groups of people, surrounded by their friends and discussing the “tea.” One group talks and laughs about everyday funny stories. The other talks about the way one of their classmates dresses, or about a teacher’s accent. In this situation, there are two lenses, one highlighting the healthy aspect of community building, being able to talk about the individuals we are surrounded by, and expressing our thoughts. The other highlights the unhealthy aspects of group discussions, brought on by toxicity. It is essential to realize the fine line between providing criticism and simply “talking trash.”
Community is formed through finding similarities with one another. An example of this is being able to discuss social issues and provide different points of view. Being able to air out opinions and issues is a healthy process. Having an open community provides differing perspectives and angles about being able to focus on expressing issues and solving problems. This is how discussions can be productive. Without this, it would be much harder for many to recognize when their own actions are wrong, and also acknowledge mistakes.
However, there is a difference between expressing your opinion about someone’s actions versus attacking them as a person or for things they cannot control. Emotions are complex, and sometimes a debrief is needed for a number of reasons. There is a fine line between providing criticism of someone’s actions, and simply “talking crap.” It is never okay to shame someone for existing. It is essential to tread lightly and be aware of how your words can affect other people. Balancing this form of expression with empathy is most important, and it is essential to be mindful of those around you. Spreading rumors or criticizing people for things out of their control is never okay, especially in group settings. Creating this kind of environment where this is okay is harmful and creates a community promoting toxicity towards others.
At the end of the day, it is important to be respectful to others. Discussing other people is okay, however it is essential to consider the feelings of others, and how your actions affect them.
