During their prime years, teenagers are bound to attend numerous hangouts and social events. Whether it be a friend’s house, the mall, the movies or just to get food, a teen always has to pass one obstacle first: asking their parents for permission to go.
In my case and for many of my peers, parents are constantly concerned about the locations of their children. They ask for the full rundown of any simple event: “Where are you going?” “Who is going to be there?” “How long will you be gone?” and many more interrogative questions. But the one that sticks out most often is the question of location. Oftentimes, my parents will refuse to let me go to the mall or to even get food in certain places. When asked why, the response is always “we trust you, we just do not trust the people around you.”
This mindset is a common belief amongst many parents. They naturally have a protective instinct that makes them want to keep their kids away from anything that may be the slightest bit risky. They fear unfamiliar situations, which is a valid concern, but instead categorize all unfamiliar people as dangerous simply because they are strangers. They automatically assume the worst of others in low-risk situations or environments like the mall or restaurants. Additionally, they label certain neighborhoods as sketchy based on skewed reputation regarding racial stereotypes and appearances or even generalizing a whole group or area as bad due to one event. These assumptions can be influenced by the media and news, negatively portraying certain communities.
Additionally, there is a level of trust between a parent and a child. Most parents do not trust that their child can deal with unsafe people or new experiences, ultimately choosing to avoid them altogether. This can unintentionally create a rift in the relationship between parent and child. Parents not trusting their kids with situations like simply going out will lead to even more distrust later on in life. The child might start sneaking around or doing things secretly, which leads them to be involved in more unsafe situations, ultimately backfiring for the parents’ wish to keep them safe. It can cause a kid to feel uncomfortable sharing small details about their life or feel as if they have to act a certain way in their own home, filtering out their actions and words in fear of what consequences they might face.
This also stems from the topic of strict parenting. Rather than creating a household full of rigid rules, excessive control and high expectations, parents should encourage their children to communicate how they feel when it comes to specific expectations, for going out in particular. In return, a reasonable system should be created where both sides, parents and children, are satisfied and equal. A system where the parent is aware of the basic details of the hangout and the child still has the freedom to spend the day outside alongside the proper knowledge of staying safe.
It is understandable, of course, to be cautious of the environment you are in. After all, parents are only looking out for the safety of their kids. Yet ultimately, it is more important to implement a foundation of trust and guide your kid to be prepared to handle real-world situations if anything goes wrong, rather than raising them in a bubble of fear and mistrust for those around them or causing them to choose secrecy. Teaching awareness allows teenagers to navigate the world safely, instead of causing rifts between families or generalizing communities. Being able to go out and experience new places, have new interactions and meet new people encourages critical thinking about what is safe or not, and creates life skills.
