To some people, being nice comes naturally, but everyone is different. Being a people person does not necessarily mean you are friendly and being more reserved and introverted does not automatically make a person ill-natured. Being nice is often encouraged, and rightfully so, but there are always instances where it is exhausting or unideal.

Being nice is commonly characterized as being friendly by talking to people, smiling and being compassionate and agreeable. Calling a person “nice” is pretty generic, and is usually only used between people who just met and are not very familiar with each other. What makes a nice person differs from person to person, but it all comes down to the same things, like making someone else feel welcomed and appreciated or having basic manners and treating them well overall. In a perfect world, everyone is “nice” and has basic respect for each other. Unfortunately, we do not live in a perfect world.

We can be nice to anyone, no matter how well we know them. For example, a waiter at a restaurant will be nice to you, but they are not looking to start a friendship and they themselves might not consider themselves as nice people normally. Nonetheless, the customer had a better experience at this restaurant because of their nice waiter even if it was not the most authentic kindness. Of course, unlike servers and other people who work in customer service, it is not our job to be nice to random people, so it is much less common to receive kindness from someone you are not paying.

If someone is unkind to you, you probably would want to return the favor and be nasty right back to them. It does not even have to be someone being straight out rude, even the slightest bit of unpleasantness from a person makes us refrain from being “nice”. This reaction is perfectly okay at times, since it is only human nature, but it is important to know your own boundaries while talking to others, and it is no one’s responsibility to go out of their comfort zone unwillingly.

The world is not perfect, and neither are we, so although we should strive for perfection, we should still prioritize ourselves on a daily basis. Ultimately, respecting ours and others boundaries should be more important than being friendly to everyone.